HBO Hard Knocks No.3

The third install of HBO’s Hard Knocks featuring the Cincinnati Bengals was by far the most comical one to date.

The rookie talent show had a little bit of anything. Nothing was off limits as rookies poked fun at Roy Williams’ former relationship with pop star Kelly Rowland. So the guys posted pictures of Kelly all over Williams’s room and showed him on the bed crying.

A rookie did his best Andre Smith impression by doing a 40-yard dash with his shirt off. Those offensive linemen need a manzier or a bro, some sort of support.

Another rookie dressed as Dhani Jones and did his Dhani Tackles the Globe impression. Even Marvin Lewis couldn’t stop laughing.

While getting treatment, Cincinnati's trainer tells a surprised Carson Palmer that his ankle sprain will take "several weeks" to heal. Palmer replies that he heals fast and has more white blood cells than the average human being. The trainer doesn’t laugh.

Yet this is the same guy that was basically smiling when he told tight end Reggie Kelly that his season was over with a torn ACL. Yet another example of how important Palmer is to the entire franchise from top to bottom.

The show moves into a couple of roster battles, starting with the secondary.

Rookie free-agent safety Tom Nelson is making lots of plays and is opening the eyes of Bengals coaches. The plays Nelson is making this year is reminiscent of some of the plays 2008 draft pick Corey Lynch made in last year's camp. But currently Lynch is struggling and Nelson is thriving as both players likely are battling for one of the team's final roster spots.

In preseason game number two against New England, Nelson had a sack and a forced fumble that ended up winning the game for the Bengals. Lynch looked timid and the coaches noticed his lack of aggression. It looks like the rookie has the edge right now in this match up.

It appears DeDe Dorsey and Brian Leonard are battling for one running back spot. Leonard is rock-solid but not spectacular, while Dorsey brings a "wow factor" that Cincinnati is looking for behind starter Cedric Benson. Dorsey has shuffled around the NFL, including a prior trip to Cincinnati. Leonard was a bust for the St. Louis Rams and is trying to prove his worth for another team. Dorsey had the big run against the Patriots, but the competition is far from over.

After watching this episode, we now know that second round pick Rey Maualuga will be a starting linebacker when the season starts in two weeks. In the words of linebackers coach Jeff Fitzgerald, "for the betterment of the team," Maualuga should start.

And you can see why, Maualuga is always ready to knock somebody on the ground. Whether it be an offensive lineman or a running back, whoever Maualuga hits, goes down. The concern with Maualuga coming out of USC was that he was undisciplined and a freelancer. His style of play may fit right in with what the Bengals need, a guy that won't think too much. The coaches seemed giddy watching the tape on him.

He even made a great joke yet again at the expense of Andre Smith. Maualuga was getting yelled at for a blown assignment in practice then responded “At least I came to camp on time”. Burrrrn. Smith is getting joked on left and right and he isn’t even signed yet. Can’t imagine the sort of hazing he will receive if/when he finally does sign.

Chad Ochocinco kicking the extra point against New England was still funny, even after seeing it a thousand times on ESPN already.

“Estaban Ochocino is back. The most interesting footballer in the world” he told Bengals media relations director after the kick in a reference to the Dos Equis commercial.

Watching the coaches in the press box when they heard Marvin say Chad was going to kick was hilarious. Offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski tried to keep a straight face, but even he broke out in a laugh as Chad ran out on the field. It was comical to see how the players and coaches reacted to Chad when stuff like this happens.

This should show fans and the media why the Bengals keep Chad around. No matter what happens in the off-season, they all know that when Chad comes to camp, he is ready to play. He works hard and he keeps the team loose. A referee even told Chad “Child Please”, after he had been complaining about a call.

Chad is shown shopping for jewelry and comes away with an $11.50 pair of earrings. “Just because you’ve got money, doesn’t mean you’ve got to spend it. And don’t forget, I am rich!

And he has a new phrase “kiss the baby” which is basically saying its over, start the buses.

Funniest line of the night, Chad’s slogan for his new product: “Chad Ochocinco condoms, catches everything your Johnson shoots”.

Bengaldom moment of the show: the coaches decide to move second year defensive tackle Jason Shirley to the offensive line. He has never played anything but D-line, but the Bengals, still missing #6 overall pick Andre Smith, are desperate for O-line help and are taking a huge gamble.

Shirley was shown the very basic techniques that looked like O-linemen learn in middle school. But the good news for Bengals fans is that Shirley did play well against the Patriots.

Overall this was my favorite episode to date in terms of comedy and learning about the position battles on the field. From the look of the show this Bengals has more team camaraderie than ever before during the past 15 years. And best of all, nobody’s getting in trouble!

But HBO had to get this jab in at the end of the show. Mike Brown to coaches: “I don’t know when he’s going to sign (A.Smith). We have no reason to believe it’s going to be any time soon.”

This is why the Bengals are held back, their owner/GM Mike Brown. HBO is doing a great job of showing it without even having to say a word.